One lesson I teach from my heart

I know you've all heard this line before, "before I got a perm my hair was so (choose adjective), but since then it's never been the same". Or what about this one, "My mama was so mad when my grandma permed my hair..."? So many black women blame the disfigurement of their hair on a perm that they themselves had no control avoiding, and yet still continue the cycle of perming their hair. Many will attempt to counteract my claim with stating how relaxing their hair has become an imperative tradition of maintenance, otherwise their hair will break off and die. Although I do agree that breaking the cycle of reconstructing your hair with potent chemicals strong enough to burn your scalp will reveal extensive damage leaving you with irreversible harm , I don't believe however that the process of stripping you halo of toxins is a negative transition. In fact I believe that it's a necessary portion in claiming back our identity as women of color. That's right! In order to love me for me, I had to first be able to confront the taboo of wearing my hair natural and loving it. Ok, I know I've ticked somebody off by now!


How many times have you heard a sistah say that she would but, one or more of the following issues have led her to continue relaxing her hair: lacks femininity, doesn't look right, body frame is too big/small, head is too long/big, hair too curly/nappy, husband wouldn't like it, couldn't go out in public, hair is excessively dry when naturally worn, just don't like it on me, but it looks good on you? Look at all the negative responses one will automatically dispense when asked why they don't opt for a natural do'. I am truly amazed and somewhat ashamed at the lack of intelligent reasons given for relaxed hair traditions. Ignorant bliss I say, or is it so easy for me to reject such rationality when I can proudly boast of my natural hair?

My hair after the "big chop".

Although it could be true that I am a bit bias, I can't help but to feel as though I've won a race that so many choose not to run. It's a small personal victory, but a victory nonetheless. We were created in the image of the Creator. In saying that, nothing about us in its natural form (including hair) should be viewed as ugly, lacking, or anything less than great. How important is hair anyway to the advancement of our people? I think it starts with the mind; slavery was more than physical captivity, but mental warfare. One of the most important things as a mother, and even more important as a black mother, that I can give to my daughter is a positive self-image. I am not saying that is impossible for one to receive that from a black woman who perms her hair, but what I am saying is it the lesson becomes more of an act, than just a statement.

Although Paris has wavy hair from her father's creole roots, which is widely viewed as "good hair" in society, I still want her to be able to identify with all forms of beauty as equally beautiful. My locks are no worse or better than hers; I am no less of a woman than she'll be, nor do I lack any ounce of femininity. That vision is a warped and a truly worldly vision. Our hair only plays a small role in who we actually are; rocking a natural do' doesn't mean you're more intelligent or wise., true? I just encourage all black women to critically examine what their do' means to them and why. Is your reason to not rock a natural do' out of negativity or fear? I pray that those of us who struggle with this issue are one day really freed to embrace themselves no matter the texture of their hair!

My hair now