Controversial Series: Divorce

Let me just start this series by stating that this is not solely about our moral beliefs. Although it's impossible to completely detach the two, I would like for us to dig deeper to sort through some of the toughest issues at hand and how we feel the GOVERNMENT should respond. In contrast to the sort of whining about our administration we've all been guilty of at some point in time, I thought it would different and refreshing to submit well-thought proposals and/or resolutions on the issues that plague every home, regardless of race, social status, sex, religion, political party affiliation, etc. Plus, this can be a great critical thinking and writing exercise for anyone with teenage kids! Now, let's begin...

First read this article and then return here to read my thoughts. Then chime in on how you feel the GOVERNMENT should play a role in response to article; please don't forget to provide some form of a solution. Thanks!


My Response:

I believe that the era of Romanticism gave birth to the "ideal marriage" and since then our society has idolized the power of emotions. In acknowledging that, we can see how it has complicated things, especially for lawmakers.

When you teach a baby that it's ok to cry when they feel pain, to laugh when they're elated, and that love is a feeling rather than an act, it can be rather hard to enforce regulations that undermine that very principal. We're not taught in this day and age that acting on our emotions is selfish; we're taught that it may be irresponsible and can show signs of naivity, but nonetheless, our society was built and thrives today on the prinicpal of "freedom" and "natural laws".

Ok, so let me relate this all. Our society, following many ideals of Romanticism, is empowered with the belief of absolute "freedom". Not many will be quite interested in giving up their "freedom" for new "chains", so to speak.

Warner's article gave suggestions on how lawmakers could possible curb the amount of divorces with cases with children being especially targeted, but I believe that any changes like that will only result in less marriages, but not necessarily healthier and more psychologically sound kids.
The root of the problem is not really what needs to be in place to curb divorce, but rather why are people more so feeling the urge to get divorced instead of staying married? Can our society begin to limit the power of emotions and begin to teach the new generation about the responsibility and consequences of emotional judgement ?

Kids who are left broken from divorced parents tend to be that way when emotions are conveyed inappropriately and/or someone forgoed their responsibilities; I don't believe the act of divorce itself is what psychologically disturbs involved children. I am a product of a single-parent home and I can say that my outlook and difficulties with marriage are no different than those of my counterparts who came from two-parent, married households.

Bottom line, as long as we are taught to act upon our emotions and to praise and exalt the way we feel, someone will always get the short end of the stick. Divorce is usually a result of emotions, and frankly, laws don't necessarily keep people from acting on their emotions. Until then, the future of a high divorce rate seem more probable than not. This obession with how we feel and our wreckless ways of responding to our emotions is where we've been miseducated. I think we should focus more on shredding this image of the "ideal marriage" that is so often perpetuated through movies, songs, talk shows, soap operas, novels, celebrities, etc.

We should want people to be more realistic going in so that if counseling is necessary, it's done with a voluntary motive, not because the government feels it's their role to reestablish the sanctity of marriage. THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE CREATER OF MARRIAGE, NOR SHOULD EXERCISE THE RIGHT TO DEFINE IT. It's the heart and perception of man that needs to be changed and I just don't see that happening anytime soon in this day and age.

Can I Be Honest For A Moment...

I find it really hard for many to relate to me, my blog, my conversation for long because I MUST be honest. Sometimes honesty isn't the best thing to say, so I try to choose the nicest words, but it never fails that someone is disenchanted by my thoughts expressed.

The reason why I haven't posted anything for so long, assuming there's anyone wondering, is that I find many bloggers to be very condecending, unrealstic, extemist, and judgemental. While I can appreciate the rhetoric of housekeeping, homeschooling, etc. I think it's just as important for us women who are avid "enlightners" of the such to keep it real. Life is so much more than just the same two topics many want to beat with a hammer weekly.

If you're having a hard time following how I feel about self righteousness, check out this post.

I hope I am being clear that not everyone in blogland is how I just described, but I do feel as though I am part of the minority here. Really, I enjoy reading varied opinions, but without pride and haughtiness I find more often than not . I am really contemplating on terminating my account. There's just little room for a third p.o.v. You're either one extreme or the other. Anything in between is just straddling the fence; how absurd!

I'm just wanting to connect with other mothers/wives who believe in a balance as I do.

If you're out there...