Spring Cleaning

My spring cleaning relates more to the clutter in my head, rather than my house. I don't know about you guys, but it's so easy for me to cloud my head with so many dreams, ideas, and notions.

Last week, I made a decision to drop two classes I was taking; I had already complete 2 this semester and still have one that I attend on Monday and Wednesday evenings. I'm telling you, I was beginning to forget my own name!

Anyway, I must say that relieving myself of some of the pressure of finishing school before Princess P is 5 has really lightened the weight on my head!

My God, I would go through this long list of what ifs, and what did I forget, and Oh man, I still have two more chapters to read...

It was crazy.

I'm still learning to pace myself with this whole wife/mom/teacher/daughter/sister/friend/employee/student/sane-type-o-woman deal.

Pray for me guys! I'll write a more thoughtful post when my time and my thoughts finally align!

:)

Can I Be Honest For A Moment...

I find it really hard for many to relate to me, my blog, my conversation for long because I MUST be honest. Sometimes honesty isn't the best thing to say, so I try to choose the nicest words, but it never fails that someone is disenchanted by my thoughts expressed.

The reason why I haven't posted anything for so long, assuming there's anyone wondering, is that I find many bloggers to be very condecending, unrealstic, extemist, and judgemental. While I can appreciate the rhetoric of housekeeping, homeschooling, etc. I think it's just as important for us women who are avid "enlightners" of the such to keep it real. Life is so much more than just the same two topics many want to beat with a hammer weekly.

If you're having a hard time following how I feel about self righteousness, check out this post.

I hope I am being clear that not everyone in blogland is how I just described, but I do feel as though I am part of the minority here. Really, I enjoy reading varied opinions, but without pride and haughtiness I find more often than not . I am really contemplating on terminating my account. There's just little room for a third p.o.v. You're either one extreme or the other. Anything in between is just straddling the fence; how absurd!

I'm just wanting to connect with other mothers/wives who believe in a balance as I do.

If you're out there...

The Seed of Mind-Changing Thoughts

I originally posted this on my old blog @ Xanga, but I think it is still relevant to the whole transformation I am currently undergoing. My mind has to be in tact in order for me to give my daughter what she needs from me as a mother and as her educator. This past summer I had started (and still haven't finished to much of my regret), a wonderful book. Here was the blog inspired by my readings.

I am currently indulging myself in the book titled: Classic African American Women's Narratives, which I find to be so disturbingly relevant to today. The book edited by William L. Andrews, spans narratives composed by pioneer African American female writers during the late 1800s. Being newly freed of the physical bondage of slavery, these women sought to evoke the spirits of other freed and enslaved women alike in a way to bring about a bold and daring self-confidence. They wanted for women to know their responsibility in the divine concatenation of revolution. An idealist myself, I find a distinct degree of relation to the shared mission of these various authors. I too feel the need to call out to our women to dig deep for that self-esteem that has been buried under centuries of oppression; to rise up and not only challenge society's influence and morality for our children, but to also be a seed in the foundation of progress. I firmly believe that everyone is capable of doing something incredibly revolutionary; being that we are created in the image of the Creator Himself which means we are modeled in supernatural greatness. For me, I find the struggle is not obtain the tools and skills necessary to bring about positive changes, but yet understanding and affirming your own identity and purpose in the struggle. As the narratives aim to touch the sentiments of women into soul searching, I want to stir the satisfaction of the mothers of africa for their sons and daughters alike. I believe that with God first, purpose second, and education a close third, there is nothing impossible for any single being to accomplish. Purpose again being the most difficult of the three to attain, is and has always I fear been the downfall of our past and present generations. When slavery took captivity of thousands of native African civilians, purpose began to dwindle into a near nonexistence. Without a reason to live, what reason do you have to change? Why would anyone care sincerely about, much less study and act upon a plan, which I believe to be divine, constructed to promote our community into fulfillment? Comfort is all too easily clenched and favored by the average African American, that we have begin to grow content with the mediocrity that has been pacifying us since the Civil Rights Movement. The need for change seems to be the only thing consistent and relevant from today and yesterday. It makes me wonder if things are really much different than the times in which these authors wrote with such passion and despair.

Looking back on my original post, little did I know at the time, but God had already placed the seed in me to begin looking for alternative routes for education. Initally, I wanted to start a private school with the efforts of like minds, but you know how that tends to go. Nevertheless, my dream for an ideal and Godly education has not ceased. In fact, my passion to pursue it has only intensified, thus homeschool. As an african-american mother, I definitely feel the need to sow so much positive self-image and Godly-habits and practices, that homeschool seems to be my only satifying option. I just thought it was highly interesting to see some of my development in just a few months...living proof that God is working!