Controversial Series: Divorce

Let me just start this series by stating that this is not solely about our moral beliefs. Although it's impossible to completely detach the two, I would like for us to dig deeper to sort through some of the toughest issues at hand and how we feel the GOVERNMENT should respond. In contrast to the sort of whining about our administration we've all been guilty of at some point in time, I thought it would different and refreshing to submit well-thought proposals and/or resolutions on the issues that plague every home, regardless of race, social status, sex, religion, political party affiliation, etc. Plus, this can be a great critical thinking and writing exercise for anyone with teenage kids! Now, let's begin...

First read this article and then return here to read my thoughts. Then chime in on how you feel the GOVERNMENT should play a role in response to article; please don't forget to provide some form of a solution. Thanks!


My Response:

I believe that the era of Romanticism gave birth to the "ideal marriage" and since then our society has idolized the power of emotions. In acknowledging that, we can see how it has complicated things, especially for lawmakers.

When you teach a baby that it's ok to cry when they feel pain, to laugh when they're elated, and that love is a feeling rather than an act, it can be rather hard to enforce regulations that undermine that very principal. We're not taught in this day and age that acting on our emotions is selfish; we're taught that it may be irresponsible and can show signs of naivity, but nonetheless, our society was built and thrives today on the prinicpal of "freedom" and "natural laws".

Ok, so let me relate this all. Our society, following many ideals of Romanticism, is empowered with the belief of absolute "freedom". Not many will be quite interested in giving up their "freedom" for new "chains", so to speak.

Warner's article gave suggestions on how lawmakers could possible curb the amount of divorces with cases with children being especially targeted, but I believe that any changes like that will only result in less marriages, but not necessarily healthier and more psychologically sound kids.
The root of the problem is not really what needs to be in place to curb divorce, but rather why are people more so feeling the urge to get divorced instead of staying married? Can our society begin to limit the power of emotions and begin to teach the new generation about the responsibility and consequences of emotional judgement ?

Kids who are left broken from divorced parents tend to be that way when emotions are conveyed inappropriately and/or someone forgoed their responsibilities; I don't believe the act of divorce itself is what psychologically disturbs involved children. I am a product of a single-parent home and I can say that my outlook and difficulties with marriage are no different than those of my counterparts who came from two-parent, married households.

Bottom line, as long as we are taught to act upon our emotions and to praise and exalt the way we feel, someone will always get the short end of the stick. Divorce is usually a result of emotions, and frankly, laws don't necessarily keep people from acting on their emotions. Until then, the future of a high divorce rate seem more probable than not. This obession with how we feel and our wreckless ways of responding to our emotions is where we've been miseducated. I think we should focus more on shredding this image of the "ideal marriage" that is so often perpetuated through movies, songs, talk shows, soap operas, novels, celebrities, etc.

We should want people to be more realistic going in so that if counseling is necessary, it's done with a voluntary motive, not because the government feels it's their role to reestablish the sanctity of marriage. THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE CREATER OF MARRIAGE, NOR SHOULD EXERCISE THE RIGHT TO DEFINE IT. It's the heart and perception of man that needs to be changed and I just don't see that happening anytime soon in this day and age.

Can I Be Honest For A Moment...

I find it really hard for many to relate to me, my blog, my conversation for long because I MUST be honest. Sometimes honesty isn't the best thing to say, so I try to choose the nicest words, but it never fails that someone is disenchanted by my thoughts expressed.

The reason why I haven't posted anything for so long, assuming there's anyone wondering, is that I find many bloggers to be very condecending, unrealstic, extemist, and judgemental. While I can appreciate the rhetoric of housekeeping, homeschooling, etc. I think it's just as important for us women who are avid "enlightners" of the such to keep it real. Life is so much more than just the same two topics many want to beat with a hammer weekly.

If you're having a hard time following how I feel about self righteousness, check out this post.

I hope I am being clear that not everyone in blogland is how I just described, but I do feel as though I am part of the minority here. Really, I enjoy reading varied opinions, but without pride and haughtiness I find more often than not . I am really contemplating on terminating my account. There's just little room for a third p.o.v. You're either one extreme or the other. Anything in between is just straddling the fence; how absurd!

I'm just wanting to connect with other mothers/wives who believe in a balance as I do.

If you're out there...

Saving My Soul From Religion...

Taking my own spin off Terry's recent post , this is a subject I visit often in my mind. Who sets the standards for those areas that are not so black/white in the Christian walk? We do, but for purpose?

We spiritual being must be especially careful on becoming heavily religious. Although, a lot of topics abhorred by God are clearly stated, not every single aspect of life is so obvious in text. I believe that is so to allow us room to depend on the Holy Spirit. If everything was just that easily stated for us...a long list of dos and donts, then there would have been no need for the Holy Spirit to leads us; we'd have all we need to know in writing.

In recognizing this, we really reveal a part of God's character. I believe He's much more concerned with the important things, and let's all hope He is, because we all lack alone what is necessary for entry into His gates. In the Bible, God instructs the fathers to be patient with their children (Eph 6:4),. Since the fathers' character is to be fashioned of His own, what makes us think that God is any different when dealing with us (His children)?

We're not created to condemn or slap wrist. Even with our children, although we are to discipline them, we must first understand that we can't expect our child to know and do everything we say. We're just not that simple. We're complex people and it's really beautiful. Nothing in the world in like man.

People, especially church-folk, infer many things pertaining to God's law, thus creating these ever-changing labels of what is and what isn't Christ-like. For our family, the choice has been simple. We will do what we know God has instructed clearly in His word and pray for direction from the spirit for the issue we find difficult to handle. We weren't meant to handle everything on our own anyway. We have to need God. Like a wife needs to have her husband, the church needs to have God for those things that are not clear. It was His divine blueprint for our relationship with Him and wow what a plan!

God already knows that even if I live an extremely restricted life I will still need Him. He's still the one deciding my fate. There's no amount of rules I can follow that will assure me a way into Heaven. There are no shortcuts. My soul being able to ascend to Heaven is the ultimate display of His grace and mercy. So, I really should keep myself from losing the healthy fear of God by becoming over-confident in my understandings of God and my ability to please Him.

In no way am I saying that living within the stated confines of the Word is wrong, because I totally agree that we must maintain structure to function and God's structure is perfect for us. However, what I am saying is that my emphasis should not be solely on my "understanding" of this massive and awesome God we serve, yet should be more so on thanking God for His unconditional love and for His undying mercy, because without it I'm doomed. My emphasis should certainly be on fulfilling His will for me on earth and spreading His word through my daily interactions; becoming a transparent witness of God.

When I say transparent, I mean one who can clearly be viewed as not claiming to be perfect, yet one who diligently strives to be a witness of God's love and salvation through example. People most of all are drawn to the faith by what they experience. I, as a Christian, am striving to be apart of many experiences that lead to lives being transformaed through Christ.

God speaks to the heart of man through the spirit, not our logic. Our family chooses to stick by the things that are concrete, praise God with our actions not just words, and always remember to ask God for insight and wisdom when faced with something we're not sure of; we avoid too much talk of strict conformity and radicalism (1 Tim. 6:20).

Leaning to His understanding can be a lot harder for a nation full of people who think they know it all!

BOTTOM LINE: WE SHOULD JUST LOVE EACH OTHER, PROMOTE EACH OTHER IN CHRIST, AND REMEMBER THAT WE'LL EACH BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR OWN SINS. LET'S JUST HOPE THAT SOMEONE IS PRAYING FOR US AS WE PRAY FOR OTHERS!

Homeschool - The Decision

After an inner-struggle that lasted for about a year, I've come to the conclusion, along with my husband's consent, that my daughter and any future children of ours will be homeschooled. I've done some research and have gained a lot of motivation to do so. Right now I am currently working and attending evening classes with my prospective BSN in mind. Unfortunately, my family is not in a position to where only one spouse can work, but I am learning day by day to appreciate that for what it is: a sacrifice. I also believe that this season is preparing me and molding me into becoming the multi-tasking, highly organized, and well-motivated woman I was created to be. I have identified the qualities that I must allow God to fully develop in me, that I may be able to accomplish my vision for my family. Allowing for this moment in my life to shape me into my super-self will not only help me to accomplish my dreams of homeschool and work, but to enjoy it as well. This journey will be the first of our family and as hoped, we can be an example of what level of excellence families are able to perform at with the will of God and determination being priority. In knowing that all things I do are done through Christ, I know that I am well-able and equipped for what life brings. Though it may not be an easy feat, I trust the rewards will be lasting. Education in the home is not the only way to teach a child by far, but I do believe it's the most enriching and pleasing to God! It challenges the parent/teacher to use every single opportunity life gives to the benefit of their child(ren) as we were directed to do (Deut 11:18-21). I am excited to get started, but I know I have a while before that first full week of instruction will come. Until then, I will make good use of my new decision and work it as a motivational tool for me; it willbe used to push me to do excellent in school and keep me focused on what is most important to me: my family. So as I transition into homeschooling full time and working part-time, I hope to connect with others mothers, who are both established and new in this world of home education, and learn as much as I can. Homeschooling is such a powerful tool to fend our family from wordly influence and I am so impressed with those who have already chosen to go that route. Praise to God and may I soon be able to follow in your steps!