One lesson I teach from my heart

I know you've all heard this line before, "before I got a perm my hair was so (choose adjective), but since then it's never been the same". Or what about this one, "My mama was so mad when my grandma permed my hair..."? So many black women blame the disfigurement of their hair on a perm that they themselves had no control avoiding, and yet still continue the cycle of perming their hair. Many will attempt to counteract my claim with stating how relaxing their hair has become an imperative tradition of maintenance, otherwise their hair will break off and die. Although I do agree that breaking the cycle of reconstructing your hair with potent chemicals strong enough to burn your scalp will reveal extensive damage leaving you with irreversible harm , I don't believe however that the process of stripping you halo of toxins is a negative transition. In fact I believe that it's a necessary portion in claiming back our identity as women of color. That's right! In order to love me for me, I had to first be able to confront the taboo of wearing my hair natural and loving it. Ok, I know I've ticked somebody off by now!


How many times have you heard a sistah say that she would but, one or more of the following issues have led her to continue relaxing her hair: lacks femininity, doesn't look right, body frame is too big/small, head is too long/big, hair too curly/nappy, husband wouldn't like it, couldn't go out in public, hair is excessively dry when naturally worn, just don't like it on me, but it looks good on you? Look at all the negative responses one will automatically dispense when asked why they don't opt for a natural do'. I am truly amazed and somewhat ashamed at the lack of intelligent reasons given for relaxed hair traditions. Ignorant bliss I say, or is it so easy for me to reject such rationality when I can proudly boast of my natural hair?

My hair after the "big chop".

Although it could be true that I am a bit bias, I can't help but to feel as though I've won a race that so many choose not to run. It's a small personal victory, but a victory nonetheless. We were created in the image of the Creator. In saying that, nothing about us in its natural form (including hair) should be viewed as ugly, lacking, or anything less than great. How important is hair anyway to the advancement of our people? I think it starts with the mind; slavery was more than physical captivity, but mental warfare. One of the most important things as a mother, and even more important as a black mother, that I can give to my daughter is a positive self-image. I am not saying that is impossible for one to receive that from a black woman who perms her hair, but what I am saying is it the lesson becomes more of an act, than just a statement.

Although Paris has wavy hair from her father's creole roots, which is widely viewed as "good hair" in society, I still want her to be able to identify with all forms of beauty as equally beautiful. My locks are no worse or better than hers; I am no less of a woman than she'll be, nor do I lack any ounce of femininity. That vision is a warped and a truly worldly vision. Our hair only plays a small role in who we actually are; rocking a natural do' doesn't mean you're more intelligent or wise., true? I just encourage all black women to critically examine what their do' means to them and why. Is your reason to not rock a natural do' out of negativity or fear? I pray that those of us who struggle with this issue are one day really freed to embrace themselves no matter the texture of their hair!

My hair now

Prospective Studies...

Here's a taste of what I want to teach and study with my child and any future babies of mine! It may be a lot, but this is over a lifetime of studying @ home. You know, 18 years or so! It's also not etched in stone...I'm completely flexible (on some things!). Now provided that all the basics are covered, I definitely want any kids of mine to learn the following...

Oh yeah, anything in blue will be taught completely outside of the home if provided by someone else. If purple, it will be be taught at-home partially by me.

Language Arts
Composition
Reading
African-American Literature
Poetry
Journalism

Math
Pre-Algebra
Algebra
Geometry
Trigonometry

Sciences
Biology
Anatomy and Physiology
Chemistry
Physics
Microbiology- I hope there's a lab they can use sometime or something!

History
Christian History (a.k.a Biblical Study) breaking down the meaning and translation
Geography
World History- but I want this broken down by continent or region. Each year we cover one vast region and all of its cultural aspects in depth
U.S. History w/ African American studies
Slavery in the Americas and its long-term affects
Texas History- since we live here
Louisiana History- where my hubby's family is from
Georgia History- where my mother's family is from
Family Tree- I want us to trace back her roots as far as we can and devise a family tree
Government
Economics

Foreign Languages
Spanish which I've studied for a while now. Espero que ensenar espanol a mis hijos.
French oui oui is about all I know as of yet, but I plan to at least take a beginner class while in college
Hebrew (for our Christian studies) we can learn this together
Kreyol- Although it's native to Haiti, I hope it's closely related to the Creole language of Louisiana (I need to research that)


Like Skills
ChristianPriniciples (Bible application)
Communication
Career Planning and Preparation
Arts and Crafts
Typing
Domestic studies
Nutrition
Grocery Shopping
Sewing
Cooking

Extracurricular- These are optional upon her liking, but she must pick at least 2
Cooking- more advance lessons like difference in knives, proper techniques, world cuisine
Dance
Choir
Piano
Other musical instrument
Yoga
Aerobics
Gymnastics
Sport of choice (though I prefer tennis, soccer, or baseball/softball)

At least 10 hours of community service/volunteer time per year

Saving My Soul From Religion...

Taking my own spin off Terry's recent post , this is a subject I visit often in my mind. Who sets the standards for those areas that are not so black/white in the Christian walk? We do, but for purpose?

We spiritual being must be especially careful on becoming heavily religious. Although, a lot of topics abhorred by God are clearly stated, not every single aspect of life is so obvious in text. I believe that is so to allow us room to depend on the Holy Spirit. If everything was just that easily stated for us...a long list of dos and donts, then there would have been no need for the Holy Spirit to leads us; we'd have all we need to know in writing.

In recognizing this, we really reveal a part of God's character. I believe He's much more concerned with the important things, and let's all hope He is, because we all lack alone what is necessary for entry into His gates. In the Bible, God instructs the fathers to be patient with their children (Eph 6:4),. Since the fathers' character is to be fashioned of His own, what makes us think that God is any different when dealing with us (His children)?

We're not created to condemn or slap wrist. Even with our children, although we are to discipline them, we must first understand that we can't expect our child to know and do everything we say. We're just not that simple. We're complex people and it's really beautiful. Nothing in the world in like man.

People, especially church-folk, infer many things pertaining to God's law, thus creating these ever-changing labels of what is and what isn't Christ-like. For our family, the choice has been simple. We will do what we know God has instructed clearly in His word and pray for direction from the spirit for the issue we find difficult to handle. We weren't meant to handle everything on our own anyway. We have to need God. Like a wife needs to have her husband, the church needs to have God for those things that are not clear. It was His divine blueprint for our relationship with Him and wow what a plan!

God already knows that even if I live an extremely restricted life I will still need Him. He's still the one deciding my fate. There's no amount of rules I can follow that will assure me a way into Heaven. There are no shortcuts. My soul being able to ascend to Heaven is the ultimate display of His grace and mercy. So, I really should keep myself from losing the healthy fear of God by becoming over-confident in my understandings of God and my ability to please Him.

In no way am I saying that living within the stated confines of the Word is wrong, because I totally agree that we must maintain structure to function and God's structure is perfect for us. However, what I am saying is that my emphasis should not be solely on my "understanding" of this massive and awesome God we serve, yet should be more so on thanking God for His unconditional love and for His undying mercy, because without it I'm doomed. My emphasis should certainly be on fulfilling His will for me on earth and spreading His word through my daily interactions; becoming a transparent witness of God.

When I say transparent, I mean one who can clearly be viewed as not claiming to be perfect, yet one who diligently strives to be a witness of God's love and salvation through example. People most of all are drawn to the faith by what they experience. I, as a Christian, am striving to be apart of many experiences that lead to lives being transformaed through Christ.

God speaks to the heart of man through the spirit, not our logic. Our family chooses to stick by the things that are concrete, praise God with our actions not just words, and always remember to ask God for insight and wisdom when faced with something we're not sure of; we avoid too much talk of strict conformity and radicalism (1 Tim. 6:20).

Leaning to His understanding can be a lot harder for a nation full of people who think they know it all!

BOTTOM LINE: WE SHOULD JUST LOVE EACH OTHER, PROMOTE EACH OTHER IN CHRIST, AND REMEMBER THAT WE'LL EACH BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR OWN SINS. LET'S JUST HOPE THAT SOMEONE IS PRAYING FOR US AS WE PRAY FOR OTHERS!

The Seed of Mind-Changing Thoughts

I originally posted this on my old blog @ Xanga, but I think it is still relevant to the whole transformation I am currently undergoing. My mind has to be in tact in order for me to give my daughter what she needs from me as a mother and as her educator. This past summer I had started (and still haven't finished to much of my regret), a wonderful book. Here was the blog inspired by my readings.

I am currently indulging myself in the book titled: Classic African American Women's Narratives, which I find to be so disturbingly relevant to today. The book edited by William L. Andrews, spans narratives composed by pioneer African American female writers during the late 1800s. Being newly freed of the physical bondage of slavery, these women sought to evoke the spirits of other freed and enslaved women alike in a way to bring about a bold and daring self-confidence. They wanted for women to know their responsibility in the divine concatenation of revolution. An idealist myself, I find a distinct degree of relation to the shared mission of these various authors. I too feel the need to call out to our women to dig deep for that self-esteem that has been buried under centuries of oppression; to rise up and not only challenge society's influence and morality for our children, but to also be a seed in the foundation of progress. I firmly believe that everyone is capable of doing something incredibly revolutionary; being that we are created in the image of the Creator Himself which means we are modeled in supernatural greatness. For me, I find the struggle is not obtain the tools and skills necessary to bring about positive changes, but yet understanding and affirming your own identity and purpose in the struggle. As the narratives aim to touch the sentiments of women into soul searching, I want to stir the satisfaction of the mothers of africa for their sons and daughters alike. I believe that with God first, purpose second, and education a close third, there is nothing impossible for any single being to accomplish. Purpose again being the most difficult of the three to attain, is and has always I fear been the downfall of our past and present generations. When slavery took captivity of thousands of native African civilians, purpose began to dwindle into a near nonexistence. Without a reason to live, what reason do you have to change? Why would anyone care sincerely about, much less study and act upon a plan, which I believe to be divine, constructed to promote our community into fulfillment? Comfort is all too easily clenched and favored by the average African American, that we have begin to grow content with the mediocrity that has been pacifying us since the Civil Rights Movement. The need for change seems to be the only thing consistent and relevant from today and yesterday. It makes me wonder if things are really much different than the times in which these authors wrote with such passion and despair.

Looking back on my original post, little did I know at the time, but God had already placed the seed in me to begin looking for alternative routes for education. Initally, I wanted to start a private school with the efforts of like minds, but you know how that tends to go. Nevertheless, my dream for an ideal and Godly education has not ceased. In fact, my passion to pursue it has only intensified, thus homeschool. As an african-american mother, I definitely feel the need to sow so much positive self-image and Godly-habits and practices, that homeschool seems to be my only satifying option. I just thought it was highly interesting to see some of my development in just a few months...living proof that God is working!

The Transition

I've been through many transitions recently, first with motherhood, than marriage, going natural, and now homeschooling. Each one has been eventful to say the least, but nothing less than a sure blessing from God above. I've matured so much and learned a great deal about who I was and who I am to become. When I first examined my notion of homeschooling, I believed this would prove to be one of the most challenging because of it's degree of commitment, but than I realize how much everything I do is a commitment. Unfortunately, I like many in society, did not view my marriage as much of a commitment as it was a hassle. Yet, God has done some major construction on my prospective and thankfully so because now I understand that commitment is just as much of a sacrifice as God intended for it to be. It is only my reasonable service anyway, that is, to love my husband unconditionally as God has shown that same love for me.

With my new understanding and corrected vision, I now can go into this homeschooling transition whole-heatedly knowing that sacrifice is only part of the commitment. I've also recently learned the power of a commitment and what that means (Matthew 5:33-37). In knowing all this, I've decided to wean us onto the homeschooling project. I will start with Saturday school. Right now I work full time and attend classes in the evenings, M-F. I know....it's really hectic, but I want to get it done while Paris is a toddler and before we have any new additions.

So, since Sat. is our only day where we have absolutely no pre-planned obligations, I'm going to take advantage of that day to experiment on what works for Paris in the academic arena. We've already been engaging her in studies for the longest; the girl is SHARP! She just turned two in late June and can already identify her colors, numbers 1-10, shapes, many nouns (animals, foods, people, places, etc.) and loves to sing, draw, and dance! Her speech is so clear and reasoning so advanced that I'm often floored. Nonetheless, our teaching segments have been unorganized and occasional. I want to start to establish some structure. So starting this Sat. (Oct. 25th), I am going to experiment with timing, attention grabbers, subjects, etc. and see what tends to get the ball rolling for her. I want to try and figure out exactly what type of learner she is and accommodate her as best as I can.

I haven't set an agenda yet, but I'm working on one...a loose one. Bid me favor in my endeavours as we begin our journey towards homeschooling!

Homeschool - The Decision

After an inner-struggle that lasted for about a year, I've come to the conclusion, along with my husband's consent, that my daughter and any future children of ours will be homeschooled. I've done some research and have gained a lot of motivation to do so. Right now I am currently working and attending evening classes with my prospective BSN in mind. Unfortunately, my family is not in a position to where only one spouse can work, but I am learning day by day to appreciate that for what it is: a sacrifice. I also believe that this season is preparing me and molding me into becoming the multi-tasking, highly organized, and well-motivated woman I was created to be. I have identified the qualities that I must allow God to fully develop in me, that I may be able to accomplish my vision for my family. Allowing for this moment in my life to shape me into my super-self will not only help me to accomplish my dreams of homeschool and work, but to enjoy it as well. This journey will be the first of our family and as hoped, we can be an example of what level of excellence families are able to perform at with the will of God and determination being priority. In knowing that all things I do are done through Christ, I know that I am well-able and equipped for what life brings. Though it may not be an easy feat, I trust the rewards will be lasting. Education in the home is not the only way to teach a child by far, but I do believe it's the most enriching and pleasing to God! It challenges the parent/teacher to use every single opportunity life gives to the benefit of their child(ren) as we were directed to do (Deut 11:18-21). I am excited to get started, but I know I have a while before that first full week of instruction will come. Until then, I will make good use of my new decision and work it as a motivational tool for me; it willbe used to push me to do excellent in school and keep me focused on what is most important to me: my family. So as I transition into homeschooling full time and working part-time, I hope to connect with others mothers, who are both established and new in this world of home education, and learn as much as I can. Homeschooling is such a powerful tool to fend our family from wordly influence and I am so impressed with those who have already chosen to go that route. Praise to God and may I soon be able to follow in your steps!